Happy Birthday!

 

“Tales From the Cemetery”

With “Cowboy” Matt Chasco

 

Happy Birthday!

 

            Today was the last of our Burial of the Preborns for the year.

            To refresh your memories, this is the service we perform every six weeks in cooperation with several area hospitals and Pinelawn Cemetery. Less than 20 weeks gestation, less than 12 ounces. Miscarriages, stillbirths and D&C procedures.

I’ve been doing the pickup for this service since April. Every trip is very much the same. Drive down North Avenue all the way to Columbia-St. Mary’s on the lakefront, go down to the histology lab, get buzzed in, proceed to the autopsy room and retrieve the cardboard boxes with the babies inside. (Remember: each baby is in its own, individual container. Those containers are consolidated into a box/boxes.) I take the babies to Pinelawn and back to Holy Cross where they are buried.

I absolutely, positively love running this program.

It is also, quite honestly, the most depressing and emotionally draining day of work I’ll have.

But today, it really hit differently.

As I walked to the elevators suddenly, over the intercom, I heard music. It took a minute to discern what was being played.

It was Brahms’ “Wiegenlied”… better known as “Lullaby”. It served as an announcement, of sorts: a baby had been born!

It hit me so hard: a little one had entered the world, loud and proud. Their journey had just begun! Parents, anxious to hold and love that child, sing to it, play with it, change its diapers over and over and over again… I remember those early days so long ago. I miss them. I adore being a dad. So many hopes and worries, so many milestones I see my children reaching now and I‘m still overwhelmed with joy at the blessing of being a “dad”.

Then I looked down at those boxes. So many hopes and hearts broken. These kids will never know love, life, anything. I cannot imagine the grief these parents experience. I drove back on the verge of tears.

There is another part of this story I’m not ready to tell yet, so we’ll move forward.

As I sat at my desk, I suddenly realized it wasn’t “just another day”. This was someone’s birthday. I was there, though they’ll never know it and that’s okay. I sincerely believe that God knew I needed something positive, happy, hopeful and “life affirming”. He gave me that moment, and I thank him for it.

There’s a beautiful story about babies. People wondered why there’s that little indentation on our upper lips right under our noses. One version of the “legend” is that, since babies are a gift from heaven, they know what heaven is like and they contain vast amounts of knowledge of it and other things. That indentation is where an angel “shushed” you, and whispered, “Don’t tell them what you know.”

For my little ones I laid to rest today, you are not forgotten. God knows you, as do your parents. You are not alone. We will see you again someday.

And for the little one who entered our world today, welcome! Happy birthday! You have so much to look forward to. Go get ‘em kiddo.

Parents, hug your kids and thank God for the blessing of being a parent.

Kids, hug your parents. Tell them you love them and thank God for them.